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About Me Deviant Member Beryl Dov LewMale/Indonesia Recent Activity
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Beryl Dov Lew was born in Brooklyn, a small shtetl in New York. He has a Ph.D. ABD in Theatre and in Philosophy, and has been told he paints equally well with a palette of words or color. He’s won numerous awards, including the coveted ECHO Award in direct mail marketing and the even more enviable Largest Circumcised Penis in Southeast Asia Award presented by Oscar Meyer. He is the author of A Primer of Love, 165 Tools & Techniques to Jumpstart Creativity, four volumes of exquisite poetry to die for and a book of comedy pieces entitled, Drink, Piss, Fuck -- the long awaited sequel to Shit, Shower, Shave. He has been published in numerous journals, and his humorous spin on life has made him a persona non grata wherever frankness is unwelcome.
Behold, the artist speaks!
“Besides dripping in humility, I'm guess I’m sorta amazing -- confidence not ego -- a world traveler -- 94 countries not Google Earth, much too smart for my own good -- books scribbled + off the chart scores -- and I have a lightning wit -- rocket not flash. I get the attention of a room when I walk in. I have no idea why folks are so fearful of automatic weapons. Darn, I’m only usin’ blanks. I’ve been told that I'm more than a bit anomalous, but I assure you there's method to my madness like the flight of bees or a woman at a sample sale. I have an associational logic that instantly references philosophy, literature, music, art, pop culture and kitsch -- without Google. Spock would’ve approved my logic which, like the Vulcan moon, Trayfe, is at once elliptical and eccentric echoing the tides of the mercurial human heart. What else? I love the filtration prior to intimacy and the deep philosophical discussions that follow. e.g., ‘How many old Balinese men does it take to change a lightbulb?’Answer: ‘Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold the chicken.’; Or, 'Where do all these fucking Chinese takeout menus come from?'' I'm a rara avis that has migrated, due to the encroaching climate velocity, to my preferred habitat, Bali, where I now live. I have a beautiful villa here with views of terraced rice fields and volcanoes. On a clear day you can even see the bill collectors wielding machetes. Come on over y'all and bring some pie. I’m also out of bullets.
By the way, I’m searching for a soulmate, a muse and a lover. The divine trinity should be a ridiculously creative (perhaps carve reeds out of root vegetables, makes bricks without straw, chalk realist portraits on sidewalks, play a kit or dulcimer...really, really well, bind beautiful hardbacks and strip homemade fettuccine or stop-motion animate your own flip books at 4 o’clock in the morning), ridiculously interesting (maybe you forged a greyhound bus pass and traveled the U.S. for 18 months, once moved to another country just to learn its language...no matter how obscure, or have considered converting your Vespa to vegetable based fuel), brilliantly (albeit not geekily nor socially ineptly so) odd (the dictionary on a party night fascinates, others marvel at your willingness to don costumes in public, your prosthetic limb collection supersedes all others or you have a photographic memory for all things reptilian), has her shit and shinola together with her row of ducks (no hard drugs, no chronic depression, no ‘bad’ drunks and hopefully ‘lithium’ hopefully remains just a periodic element and not a prescription), hopefully fabulously beautiful, sinfully fabulous, infrangible and highly fungible, head-turning child/girl/woman/goddess who is a self-confessed whore in the kitchen and a closet gourmet in the bedroom.
As for you, o so lovely you for who I have waited an eternity and a half, please be a variation on the theme of slender/fit/toned female, and when you say curvy, please mean curvy in the right places as opposed to Ruebenesque with a booty big enough to warrant its own zipcode or possess a gravitational field that makes a game of 8-ball a graphic lesson in Ptolemaic astronomy, please be jaded but not a hue of cynical green, please spend less than 1/8 of your life on a fucking cell phone, please know how to make more than reservations for dinner, know the wealth of a person has little to do with his income, please retain the vestiges of childlike curiosity without tying cans to dog’s tails or throwing tantrums, please be a muse and at once amused by my musings, please enjoy good poetry and equate bad poetry with a long checkout line at Whole Paycheck, please know at least 18 slang words for sex, please don't smoke (near me at least), please know how to spell definitely and know your (ass) from you’re (elbow macaroni), please be scruffily feminine and an elegant tomboy, please be indescribably unique, please be affectionate but less clingy than saran wrap, please be visibly happy (at least most of the time) and irreverent and exceedingly considerate, please be within an age range an overgrown kid like me might consider apropos LTR material (i.e. not beyond 40 and not below jail-bait, please be spiritual without believing in organized religion and anthropomorphic supernal beings unless they’re made of spaghetti and a dripping of virgin olive oil, please do not ask me to become a Jehovah’s Witness -- I wasn’t even near the fucking accident, please have bothered to read this entire ramble, the perusin’ of which you will not have considered a chore, and please know the sexiest and most erotic thing about any man is his big fucking brain, and please please me, o yeah, like I please you."

Send pix and your Goddess in the details info to: balipoet@gmail.com

Namaste,
Beryl

[link]

THE LIONEL HISTORY OF MODERN ART

Tue Sep 14, 2010, 7:49 AM
Photobucket

Part 1: The PLM* Flyer: Impressionism
Tracks leaving Arles for Paris,receding beyond a natural vanishing point,
quatre vingts cheveaux, huffing and chuffing,
steam rising, an onyx black locomotive,
dappling storm clouds, across a vast Turner sky,
peering through the glass, passing, in plein air,
pastoral grass pastures, Manet’s picknicers lunching,
a chemise clad bather reflecting erotic light,
dark, light, dark, light, dark, light, dark, light,
Monet’s stacks of hay piled high as l'éléphant’s eye,
Millet’s earthy harvesters and gleaners toiling,
Van Gogh’s cypresses swirling, dancing a Tahitian hula,
avant et après Gauguin, sharp turn,
catching our caboose trailing deftly,
swimming in an ocean of wavering light,
the romantic passion of a Delacroix red,
a steam whistle blowing, the crew announcing,
“Gare du Nord, Gare du Nord,
La Ville-Lumière,
nous sommes arrives!”

*PLM is an abbreviation for the 19th Century French railway company, Compagnie des chemins de fer de Paris à Lyon et à la Méditerranée.



Part 2: The Montparnasse Tram: Cubism Meets Surrealism
Huddling in the tram, our first ‘relativity’ generation:
Picasso rubbing shoulders with Braque, Duchamp,
peering through the window, watching street musicians,
the Seine, the Left Bank, interpenetrating, intersecting,
at random angles, turning fertile, shallow cubiste space,
Dionysian grapes growing, orchards of ambiguous depth,
Stein, Breton and Apollinaire, critically juxtaposing
the old myths and the new symbols to surreal effect,
Chagall recalling a Belarus shtetl in memory’s mirror,
Satie and Cocteau, imagining circus artists parading,
for Diaghilev’s Ballet Russe,in the shape of a pear,
“billets…billets,” demanding the ticket taker, finding
our motley misfits, stealthily exiting from the rear,
taking French leave to their unventilated basements,
attics, ateliers, stinking of turpentine, cats and
the unmistakable perfume of creation, Einstein’s Eden,
Gertrude saying, “I’d like you to meet someone…”
“Finalmente,” hailing Pablo, “¡Hola! Dali.”



Part 3: New York Central Commuter: Abstract Expressionism
Metro-North diesel leaving New Haven for NY,
passing Conrail, sitting in the railyard, off-loading
the same old, same old pallets from flatcars.
Observation car shuttered, curtains drawn,
smoke rising fiercely from dining car vents,
chain-smoking, nicotine and caffeine addicted,
the best and the brightest playing poker, joker’s wild,
pledging allegiance to Jasper’s flags, burning them,
protesting Viet Nam, civil rights, Cold War, summer streets,
Pollack tripping the waiter, splattering Campbells all over
the floor, yelling “Don’t move!” Gorky countering, “Fuck you!”
knee-bending a Kozatsky in the slowly swirling soup,
Grooms grabbing Callery, dancing La Cucaracha, trashing
the dining car in a food fight of  mythomorphic proportions,
speakers blaring, “Grand Central, Grand Central Station,”
Oldenburg announcing, “Let’s head over to Cedar Tavern, Mark,
Mark, where you makin’ tracks to like some bat out of hell?”
“The bank,” smiles Rothko, signaling, “the bank.”

Part 4: Le Train Bleu TGV (Train à Grande Vitesse): Minimalism
$.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Ubud Bali, Manhattan, Santa Fe, Austin. Montreal & Wherever my heart takes me
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: 36DD but sometime buttons are cute too
  • Print preference: Kinkos and Kinkees after hours
  • Interests: iconoclasm, world travel, art, poetry, theater, collecting exotic women and thimbles
  • Favourite movie: the last one I've seen
  • Favourite band or musician: the last one I heard
  • Favourite genre of music: Andean, Baroque, Blues, Celtic, Chant, Classical, Cuban, Jazz, Klezmer, Pop, Rock, World Fusion
  • Favourite artist: Picasso, Klimt, Matisse, Brancusi, Klee, Giacometti, Dalí, Rodin, Koons, Ernst, Chagall
  • Favourite poet or writer: Shakespeare, Nabakov, Roth, Updike, Beryl Dov Lew
  • Favourite photographer: Alfred Stieglitz, Ansel Adams, Edward Steichen, Paul Strand, Edward Weston
  • Favourite style of art: doggy style
  • Operating System: varies with the mark: Spanish Prisoner, Art Student, Pigeon Drop, Snake Oil, Three-card Monte
  • MP3 player of choice: iPocrisy you Apple lemming
  • Shell of choice: Glory Of The Seas Cone
  • Wallpaper of choice: Les Guerres D'Independence and the shy girls nobody dances with
  • Skin of choice: a freshly shaved pussy -- Meow!!!
  • Favourite game: World of Asscraft; Wii Wii Golden Showers; Call of Doody; Grand Theft Lox;
  • Favourite gaming platform: Union Square subway, New York
  • Favourite cartoon character: Patrick Patrick - the doppelgänger in Nabakov's 'SpongeBob Does Lolita'
  • Personal Quote: What doesn't kill me makes me wanna pop a cap in that motherfucker's ass.
  • Tools of the Trade: kama sutra, spanking paddle, rope, handcuffs, cat o' nine tails, more rope and KY jelly

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why hello there,
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Hey thanks for the favorite. I like your collection of slang terms for pussy :lol:
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